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| HISTORY |
Our motto “Lachez votre Sauvage!” (Unleash your savage) was our great great great great grandparents battle cry while fighting alongside the peasants during the French revolution.
Their Epicurean philosophy landed them in the history books when they led the storming of the Bastille on July 14, 1789.
Our generation resurrected the family creed:
“Life is best for the savage man — he who lives unabashedly for himself and free of society's restraints.”
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| THE DUKE OF DURBINGHAM |
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Our great great great great great great great great great grandfather the Duke of Durbingham was rich and famous but an ugly, mean little bastard with a nasty temper. Unsatisfied with the pleasures of wealth and fame, he left everything to his serfs and joined the French uprising across the channel.
While fighting alongside the peasants, the Duke was smitten with the battlefield poet Laura Bacio Courlouarn, but she was gorgeous and svelte, no match for the nasty little beast. Love prevailed between them when she was unexpectedly smitten with his valiant spirit. They fell in love.
The unlikely lovers became known for their joi de vivre, and developed a philosophy that survives to this day. Their battle cry was “Life is best for the savage man — he who lives unabashedly for himself and free of society's restraints.”
This philosophy landed the pair in the history books when they led the storming of the Bastille on July 14, 1789. Their motto "Lachez votre sauvage!" (Unleash your savage) was on the lips of every soul who marched that day.
Having successfully freed the French from aristocratic tyranny, the couple drifted back to England, where forevermore, the Duke and his offspring would be called "Sauvage." |
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| FACE TO FACE WITH OUR PRIMORDIAL ANCESTORS! |
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| Wouldn't you know Kenya doesn't have widespread Internet use? So here's our much-anticipated account of our breathtaking experience in the land of the Masai. As anybody with a little culture would know, the Masai are a tribe in which young man must prove their masculinity by killing a lion. Armed with only a spear and shield they go off in the savannah searching for this fierce predator. Actually we'd rather enjoy seeing business "men" go off on the same quest. What can we say except we enjoy seeing suited man quake in fear? But anyhow, we made our wishes known to the Masai that we wanted to see a lion. Our family's coat of arms has a lion, therefore we feel a sort of kinship towards this mighty animal. The Masai agreed, and a handsome young man soon accompanied us in our search for the beast. We're going to spare you the details of our search, as it's not particularly interesting. The Masai warrior picked up a trail and we eventually spotted a lion "lounging" on a bare rock. The lion spotted us and quickly rose to its feet and for the first time in a while, we are ashamed to admit, the Sauvage sisters felt fear. The lion let out a roar to warn us and we had an epiphany about the nature of things. Well, let's be honest, we didn't have the epiphany right then and there, just after we quickly traced our steps back to camp. The Sauvage sisters may be wild at heart, but they're not going to affront a pissed off wild animal...Not until we get the proper training on how to battle them. But back to our epiphany, which really is the point of this story and thankfully it's short and sweet. Life originally is short and brutal. In our world aided by technology we forget to live life the way it was meant to be: with no reservations. |
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| HOW WE GOT HERE |
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We wanted to come to the United States because we simply just got tired with the old world.
We also felt our philosophy about letting your savage side out would do much good here. So when it came time to get here, we thought it would be fun to cross the Atlantic by boat...(we were feeling "retro" that day) And if we're lucky we'll get the full nineteenth century immigrant experience: land on Ellis Island, have our name hopelessly mispronounced by the administrators there, and possibly get deported. As if! But seriously, all millionaires own boats and yet they still use planes to get around the world. Part of us (or rather all of us) thinks that if you're going to own a boat, you should have the balls to sail it across the globe. What's the point of having a boat otherwise? Now we didn't actually sail all the way here, we got our cousin to do all the navigating work. He's a skipper, loves the sea, the salty air, and he thinks his yacht is a woman. But we kid; we love sailors and their quiet desperation as they go months on end without sex. |
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| FIRST DAY IN MANHATTAN |
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| We finally arrived to New York City! And unfortunately the paparazzi have taken notice. We suppose coming to New York by boat was one of the more conspicuous ways to get here. For all we know, the paparazzi might have been camping out in the ports these past two months. In regards to paparazzi, we don't have the same stance as other celebrities: we recognize that our pictures are worth gold, and we're happy sharing the wealth with poor photographers. We can't help being fauxcialites and the laws of the market are that celebrities sell. Now that doesn't mean paparazzi aren't annoying. Some of them are rude and will try anything to get a rise out of you. But it's all right, because for one thing, when we are in a particularly bad mood, we can torment the paparazzi without feeling guilty. "What goes around comes around" as they say. |
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